Movie Conventions

In my Bible as Literature class, we were talking about conventions and how if you don't understand the conventions/culture of something, you won't fully understand what's going on. Before we applied this to the Bible, our professor handed out a list of movie conventions and explained that if aliens came and watched our movies, they wouldn't fully understand what was going on, because it doesn't make sense on its own. Some of my favorites from the list:

"Ali MacGraw's Disease": Movie illness in which only symptom is that the sufferer grows more beautiful as death approaches.

"Balls of Steel Rule": Bad guys who suffer a blow to the groin are down for the count, just like in real life. Good guys shrug it off and are back in action within seconds.

"Cape Fear Syndrome": Derangement that causes heroines, upon learning they are in great danger, to go immediately to an isolated cabin (houseboat, sailboat in the harbor, farm) alone, knowing that no one, especially their friends, will be able to find them.

"Dead Werewolf Defense": In any horror film involving a human transforming into a monster, the hero never has to explain to the police the naked dead human body that is left after he has killed the monster. This despite the fact that no on in authority ever believes in the monster in the first place.

"Explosion ESP": The characters always know whether the crashed and smoldering vehicle they are in will explode. If they don't get out and run, it won't explode. If they do, it does.

"Human Antennae": Movie characters who have an amazing ability to turn on the TV precisely at the moment when a newscaster begins a report on something directly related to them.

"Lawyer with One Case Scenario": In nearly all legal dramas, the lawyers involved have only one case--the case the movie is about.

"Miracle Twenty-five-pound Newborn Syndrome": Newborn babies in movies instantly look about seven months old, and weight about twenty-five pounds. Their postpartum mother seems perfectly refreshed, made-up, and comfortable, despire the gargantuan child she's just given birth to.